Giant red trolleys have mysteriously invaded our district and are being bred in a local supermarket. These 'Big Reds' are a part of a tricky greenwashing con.
How do I know this? Well greenwashing describes the action of charlatans and cheats who 'whitewash' or 'green sheen' their products as environmentally safe and sound. Green sheen companies, traditionally the largest polluters, fib with packs and promotions that signal environmentally friendly images. Grocery store and food chain porkies are way up there with the best of them.
"Where did you get the wagons? And why red?"
"They're biodegradable dear. Biodegradable. You obviously don't shop in big cities. They're everywhere."
Well trained in greenwashing, the aging checkout chick is already a stalwart defender of what has become the district eyesore. About the size of a motor cycle with sidecar, the wagons are bigger than the shoppers who trundle them up and down food aisles.
Giant reds, higgledy piggledy along main street. Push comes to shove down supermarket alleyways. Watch it! Here's one double parked near the wheaties. Road rage as two overtake in food aisles built for slower and gentler times.
Eco-friendly? Biodegradable, indeed! I try one more time.
"But why vicious red?"
"Because we already sell green eco-friendly carry bags. "
It seems pointless to argue that the green bags are also plastic.
Cull kangaroos? I don't think so. Let's start with everything labelled biodegradable and eco-friendly. Shoot the lot. Really come clean. Except some wiseacre will doubtless invent another name for that as well. And the world turns again.